how can you remember the touch a person's hand youve never met? the way he smells and tastes? the emotions in his eyes when he looks at you? that love? how can i miss him so much? i see him in my dreams and hes also in the back of my mind every waking moment. ive tried everythning to figure out what it means. even ways to push it away. everything seems to point to my mate, from a past life. im not sure if i can trust that, but i want to so bad. it feels like a cop-out to why i cant get a guy now. but how can i with this engraved into me? is it just my imagination going wild? but nothing else feels this real. even if he was real im not sure i want to know. did we do something wrong that we dont deserve each other again. maybe its the cosmic order or something. its probably not fair that i found something so great to have it every life whiles others are still looking. i feel like im loosing my mind sometimes.

sorry, thats been bothering me for a long time. just had to get some of it out, even if it is only in writing

by give back to it. grow a plant, recycle, teach others to be thoughtful. dont waste energy that you dont need. use the stairs instead of the elevator (unless you need to). use recyclable goods. have 'bags for life' to use at the store. there is so much we can do. every little bit helps

what first pops into mind is my judo class. not only did it teach great self-defence, but balance. with other people and myself. it gave my a different sort of confidence and a purpose to teach the same to others

my constant movement. be it moving to another town or over seas. its taught me how to adapt and go with the flow. i've seen so many points of views and ways of life. its not really one moment but most of my life

the way my emotions work. by hearing everyone elses around me mine seem to be a bit different. they may run strong but i dont always show them on the outside. that i dont seem to have the need like most of my friends to express them in words all the time. mine come out in actions and are more private.

At first i was looking for scholarships to help pay for college. Deep down I was looking for people of like mind who I can discuss ideas with. I got that and so much more. I've met so many great people and bettered myself at a faster rate than before.

Im having a small crisis right now. was working on essays for school and it hit me: "do i really want to be doing this for life?" Im not really sure if i want a career in the major im going for. Dont really know if i could be happy with that life. History and archaeology are very interesting to my, but am i passionate about it? Then i start thinking about things i am passionate about and careers that pertain to them. Could i be a photographer or travel writer? Not sure how to go about finding out. do i try to find an internship with a photographer? Send in samples of my writng? How fast should i make these changes? SHould i even finish school? I most likely will finish school. hate to leave things undone. Also it will give me something to fall back on. I'll have to think this through with my head and heart.

Just needed to clear this out of my head.

i would be a bit sad that i would not be able to go back home. but im a bit of a gypsy. i love to travel. i know i can live in a place where i dont know anyone and love it. benn doinb that for the pas three months. there so many places to choose from; ireland, scotland, norway, japan, peru, thailand, new zealand, hawaii. the posibilities are endless.

home is whereever you are. its whats inside that counts, its all you really need.

Slowly getting up in the morning. Want to keep quit so not to wait the flat-mates. Unlike the rest of them, I'm an early bird. Left the flat before sunrise to get some pictures. A beautiful mist covered the ground. Well, its always beautiful in Ireland. You see, I'm studying abroad here for the year. Will be going home for the holiday break. Mornings are my time of quiet and inspiration. Its when I let my mind wander and dream. Soon I'll have to put it aside for the day and get back to work.

I'm a little stressed about all my essays that I need to write. I love to write, but for writing itself. Not for a rigorous structure that will only judge me by so few words. They're all on interesting subjects, or I wouldn't be taking the classes. I'm not big on boundaries and being told what to do. I follow rules for a reason and mostly so I can know how to break them better. Either way I'll get them done. I want my major and I'll fight tooth and nail for it.

Don't know if i'll do anything with my degree, but I'll use what I learned along the way. Most will think I wasted it if I don't go into a career related. I don't really care. I'll walk to way I want. You can't plan for everything.

Well, those are just some thoughts I wanted to put down. Its something to start out with. Hope everyone has a nice day.